Feedback round2

Those two sentences are tricky. The good ideas are always the most difficult to capture just right. I know exactly what you're trying to get at though.

What about if you start that whole section with "Many archives of genocide…" (all the way to the video) and move the idea you're trying to capture in the first two sentences down. Make them the conclusion to the section. Maybe by leading with the concrete stuff it will help set you up to write out a revised version of broader concept you're illustrating in those two sentences. Does that make sense? It's an idea. See if you think it helps?

Thanks for the help! I cleaned up the section a bit. Those sentences have been fleshed out, with parts moved to other sections, but the remaining part is still at the top of the section. It could be moved though. If you have time, let me know what you think - No worries if not!

That reads as a lot more concrete to me at least.

Great, thanks!