Talk:GRSJ224/Evolution of Cosmetics

Hi!

I really like your choice of topic, it is a simple and easily understood topic that can be interesting to any reader. I like how you have provided a historical overview of the changes in cosmetic use since it was introduced by the Ancient Egyptians. My favourite part of your wiki page is when you explain the different supplies people used as makeup over the years. It interests me how in the past people used food, such as berries as lipstick, when nowadays we would never put food on our faces. An example of a sentence that included information that I found fascinating is "ashes were used back then to darken under the eyes, use berries to paint their lips and young boys urine to erase their freckles". All I can say is I am sure thankful we have products these days that help erase freckles instead of having to use urine!

Just a couple suggestions :)

In your introductory sentence I think it is very important to make sure your writing is totally clear as this is the first impression readers will have of your page. In you wiki page you wrote "Cosmetics, or known by the many as for makeup. Cosmetics are mainly used to hide or change appearances certain of the appearances". If you don't mind, I would like to suggest that you work on changing the wording around. For example you could says something like, "Cosmetics, commonly known as makeup, are products that are applied to the body and face to improve appearance".

Secondly, In your section about Ancient Egyptians it would be helpful if you included an approximate date/year of when it was that they started introducing cosmetics. Thirdly, your wiki page would be more captivating if you could include images of how the makeup looked for each of the time periods. Lastly, throughout your entire piece I think you should include in-text citations.

Overall, you are doing a great job! I really enjoyed reading your page and learned a lot of interesting information that I have never heard before.

Sincerely,

Alessandra Antunes

This is a very interesting and unique topic. I think it it interesting to follow the evolution of makeup as you did here! You did a great job at touching on different points in history and how it has changed. Something that I think personally would be interesting would be to talk about specific branding, and the beauty industry today and how different it is from what you touched on earlier. In addition I think using photos would really strengthen your page as I feel it is a very visually appealing topic! All around great page.