Editing suggestions
Hi Hannah, I’ve really enjoyed reading through your page again. It’s very informative and sensitive, I think you’ve done a great job with your topic. I did a proof-read and here are a few last editing suggestions I have:
- The sentence “The term a LGBTQ archive chooses to identify itself with can be a reflection of several factors including its…” could be reworked to be a bit tidier and more concise. Something like “The term a LGBT archive identifies itself with is a reflection…”
- Starting sections with ‘While’ reads a little funny to me (personal opinion. Take editing suggestions with a grain of salt). Consider changing “While LGBTQ materials have been collected by individuals for centuries, the establishment of formal LGBTQ archival repositories is a relatively recent development worldwide.In North America LGBTQ archives began to be founded in the 1960s and 1970s.” to something along the lines of “Records relating to LGBTQ communities and individuals have been collected for centuries, however the establishment of formal LGBTQ archival respositories is a relatively recent development. The first LGBTQ archives in North America were founded in the 1960s and 1970s.” There are one or two other instances of starting sections with while as well.
- “Oral histories are increasingly being created and collected by LGBTQ archives worldwide.” I would replace ‘created’ with ‘recorded’ as it’s more specific.
- “320 linear feet” do you mean meters…?
AmySpooner (talk)