Course talk:PHYS341/Archive/2016wTerm2/SnareDrum

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Peer Review004:50, 27 March 2017

Peer Review

Hi Brian, thanks for the comments! Sorry I didn't leave you much to work with.

The points you have touched on in your article flow cohesively from one to the next. Something I might suggest is touching upon some of the industry's standards / generally preferred model for student snares in comparison to professional ones, in terms of material and sizes? Or just providing some specific examples in general, just so that the reader can get a more solid grasp on what they are reading about. You might also want to consider exploring/expanding upon the different sticks and brushes used to produce different stylistic sounds, such as the brushes that you briefly touched upon in the introduction, (which I believe are mostly used in Jazz?). Then again, if it exists, you could also simply refer to them to an article about the sticks and brushes. You could also use some diagrams (but as you said in your comment, this is also a work in progress), but if you are having any difficulty with the coding (mainly the contents list), I would recommend copy and pasting the coding from another article and simply replacing their information with your own.

I enjoy the informative tone that you have implemented in your article, which has just the right amount of formality, without using technical jargon, which would perhaps make the information that you are trying to express somewhat inaccessible to those who are not so knowledgeable about drums and how they work. You may want to take out the "[a]s mentioned" and go with something along the lines of "Not only does the size of the drum determine it’s pitch, but also the diameter...", since the guidelines for the project specifically state "In a short article like this, don't use phrases like "As previously mentioned"."

I think you are off to a great start! I hope that I'm not being too critical and that my suggestions help even the tiniest bit. I am looking forward to how your article will turn out!

Cheers, Carmen

CarmenLockhart (talk)04:50, 27 March 2017