Course:Arthur Rimbaud’s “The First Evening”/“Premiere Soiree” (1891)
| CRWR 501P 003 |
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| Advanced Writing of Poetry |
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Long before I wrote poetry, I came across an Arthur Rimbaud poem in French class my freshman year of college. I ended up attached to a thoroughly-read copy of his complete works, which contained French and English versions on each poem on opposing pages. I appreciated the ability to see what a particular language contributed to- or made less possible- in a poem.
I much prefer the French version of this poem. It is melodic, and this quality is reduced in the translation, in part because the French language has a lot of natural rhymes due to similar word endings. Rimbaud does something very interesting with the rhyme scheme in the first stanza, which is also repeated as the last stanza of the poem.
Elle etait fort deshabillee
Et des grands arbres indiscrets
Aux vitre jetaient leur feuillee
Malinement, tout pres, tout pres.
The entire poem consists of quatrains following the rhyming scheme: ABAB. This stanza follows the same scheme, but here the B rhyme is a slant rhyme. It’s a subtle difference that makes the last line stand out from the entire poem. The words in this line are also soft, both in the way they are enunciated and in the content (“so close, so close”). The combined effect is that of a hush. It’s a beautiful way to enter the intimacy of the moment the first time the stanza appears, and then exit the poem the second time it appears. While these repeated stanzas are lyrical, the rest of the poem sandwiched between them is more earthy, with the details of the physical intimacy and conversation that occurs between the narrator and a lover. These more lyrical stanzas create a sort of frame: this is an everyday encounter and yet a sort of fairytale.
The other aspect of this stanza that I love is its interesting word choice. The word “fort” in French means strong, or perhaps intense, and “deshabillee” is undressed. So she is strongly, intensely, very undressed. It’s much more evocative diction than the English translation, which is: “She had very few clothes on.” I also love the unexpected diction in Rimbaud’s personification of trees: they are “indiscreet,” and they are throwing their leaves against the window panes “slyly.” Following that is the phrase meaning “so close, so close” or “altogether”— leaving an ambiguity or duality: the leaves are all up on the window panes in the same manner of total intimacy that the narrator is experiencing with someone so strongly undressed.
The inspiration I take from this poem is an attention to rhyme, rhythm, and diction. I also find permission to alternate between more a lyrical, symbolic approach in some stanzas, while other stanzas can have a more direct, narrative quality. It’s not necessarily a sign of inconsistency that needs to be edited away; these disparate approaches can add up to a strong combination.