Suggestions

Hi there,

I think that you chose a very interesting topic that is becoming increasingly relevant in our society today. In the beginning, you mentioned how being overweight or obese can have significant adverse effects on physical health. It would be helpful if you started off by defining what obesity is (e.g. how much is considered overweight) so that your audience can have a clearer concept. Also, I think it would be beneficial for you to expand your topic by talking about specific points. For example, you could talk about the causes of obesity (what factors contribute to people becoming obese?) and how obesity plays a role in the context of mental illness (could people’s excessive eating be a result of depression or other illnesses?) In general, you are off to a great start - I like how you explained that the “easy solutions” many medical companies offer are problematic. Lastly, and most importantly, please include references!