Masculinity in the Gay Community

Stigmatization of Effeminate Gay Men

The stigmatization of femininity in men is an issue that is prevalent among gay men just as it is among straight men. Although the stereotype that gay men are feminine is perpetuated in our culture, not all gay men embrace or support that identity. While the gay community has long celebrated its mantra of acceptance and diversity, a subset of gay men are still "preoccupied with traditional notions of masculinity and express negative feelings towards effeminate behaviour in gay men." . Some of the resentment towards effeminate gay men is due to the belief that they are the ones responsible for reinforcing the stereotypes that people apply to the community as a whole. A survey of 751 gay men in the United States by Sanchez and Vilain found that the majority of the individuals described masculinity as being very important both in themselves and in their potential partners. These same individuals also described how their ideal self-identity was more masculine than their actual self-identity. These findings supported the conclusion that masculinity plays a significant role in self-identity for gay men as it does for straight men. Just as masculinity exists as a form of homophobia for straight men (who try to protect their masculinity by distancing themselves from the perceived femininity of gay men), anti-effeminacy could reflect a form of internalized homophobia for gay men. By adopting anti-effeminate values, they are protecting themselves from the discrimination that is often endured by more feminine gay men. This form of defense mechanism works because masculine gay men are able to pass themselves as straight to strangers, whereas effeminate gay men are easily identified as gay due to them fitting common stereotypes. One study found that 30% of the variance in negative feelings about being gay was due to this preoccupation with masculinity, with the biggest contributor being concerns about fulfilling traditional masculine roles. Internal conflict with these masculine ideals was correlated with lower self-esteem and greater depression and anxiety among gay men. Consistent with the hypothesis that masculinity is used by gay men to distance themselves from being stereotyped, another study found that gay men exhibited more negative attitudes towards feminine gay men and reported greater similarity with masculine gay men after being exposed to the stereotype that all gay men are effeminate. This suggests that the stereotypes people hold about gay men may be driving some of them to conform to masculine social norms.

Advertising aimed at gay men typically glorifies masculine characteristics at the expense of stigmatizing feminine characteristics

The importance on masculinity in gay men appears to be a learned social construction. According to a study by Jod Taywaditep, most gay men are gender non-conforming in their youth and possess traits and behavior that are consistent with the stereotype of gay males as being effeminate and androgynous. It is not until adolescence that they tend to "defeminize" due to pressures to conform to societal expectations of "normal" gender expressions. Those who continue to be gender non-conforming often suffer discrimination both from fellow gay men and from the society as a whole, which only causes more and more gay men to subscribe to the notion of hegemonic masculinity. . Many of the gay men who stigmatize against the effeminate members of their community were themselves stigmatized for the same reason in the past. It is believed that "masculine ideals make many gay men feel compelled to adhere to traditional enactments of masculinity, even if it is not who they truly are." Because masculinity is also associated with sexual aggressiveness and assertiveness, critics argue that this normalizes sexual promiscuity in the gay community and contributes to the proliferation of open and non-monogamous relationships. The discrimination of gay effeminate men by other gay men is more likely to be reflected in passive-aggressive behavior rather than the physical or verbal harassment commonly seen in traditional homophobia. Gay men who are effeminate have greater difficulty finding partners on hook-up apps and dating websites because of how highly valued masculinity is in their community. Phrases like "straight-acting only", "masc 4 masc" and "no femmes" are commonplace on these type of apps and websites. Even without the spread of this type of stigmatizing language, research shows that many gay men do not find effeminate men to be attractive. A study on gay men and attraction revealed that feminine characteristics are actually considered the most undesirable qualities. Much like in heteronormative ideologies, the ideal gay men appears to be one who encapsulates both the physical and behavioural characteristics of masculinity. In particular, muscularity and athleticism are viewed as the primary components of attractiveness in the gay community. Advertisements that cater to gay men tend to emphasize and focus on these aspects of masculinity. Studies have found that "regardless of sexual orientation, men are more interested in casual sex, have a stronger preference for youthful looking partners, and place a greater importance on the physical attractiveness of a mate when compared to women." It is not surprising that gay men often report feeling dissatisfied with their bodies because they don't fit the masculine ideal. Similar to heterosexual women, gay men often feel pressured by masculine norms to achieve a certain body type in order to feel attractive to other men. They also feel more pressure to maintain their bodies compared to heterosexual men because of the disproportionate importance placed on physical attractiveness by men of all sexual orientations compared to women. The "masculinity is attractive" ideal creates a culture where body image becomes key. It's been found that gay men who internalize these masculinity ideals are more likely to sexually objectify other men, creating a cycle where more and more gay men feel compelled to conform to this oppressive ideology. This "marginalization among the marginalized" is especially damaging because it splits a community that is itself already in the minority and facing oppression. It creates a hierarchy within the gay community (ironically whose ultimate goal is equality and unity into the society at large) where masculine gay men are placed at the top while feminine gay men are forced to occupy the bottom. Additionally it suppresses individuality by heavily encouraging only a specific form of gender expression, one that has been instilled over centuries by a patriarchal and heteronormative society.