Female Sexuality in Sex and the City

Sexual Empowerment

Public interest in sexuality is something which began to grow in the late 1940s, culminating eventually in the sexual revolution, most popular in the 1960s; this revolution is linked to many different consequences and related events, including the emergence of feminism in the late 1960s.

1940s

The origins of the sexual revolution in America are sometimes credited to World War II, where women were removed from their classical roles at home in order to be put to work in America during their most active sexual years. Men and women in their late teens and early adult years at the time, away from parental guidance, in constant motion and uncertainty about the war and their futures, and under the influence of the wild swing culture – engaged in premarital sex. The desire and demand for information about sex and pleasure began to collect itself at this time and manifested in the emergence of advice books and magazine articles on the topic. The information was met with pushback, of course, but continued to grow.

1950s

Novels that had been banned in the 1920s and 30s for sexual explicitness were now being published. Alfred Kinsey publishes two innovative volumes on sexuality. The war is over and realization grows about the impending revolution. This is the decade of information, and it became so popular and widespread that few escaped hearing about it – interest continues to grow and culminates in the next decade.

1960s

The peak of the sexual revolution emerges, and so does popular feminism. Working in tandem, there is a shift away from monogamy, and so women become sexually educated and enter marriage with expectations of sexual satisfaction. Divorce rates increase, and systems are put in place aiding in non-marital sex – singles bars, the first contraceptive pill for women, and pornography. There is opposition to the latter two inventions, but both are eventually allowed due to the right to privacy. At the very end of the 1960s is also the gay liberation movement.

1970s

Religious and traditionalist groups speak up and aim to promote a more sexually conservative agenda in what historians call the “culture wars”. They focus their aim at the emergence STDs, but feminism and the sexual revolution continue making strides with the legalization of abortion in the Roe v. Wade case in 1973.

1980s and onward

AIDS is discovered in 1981 and an epidemic breaks out; the concept of safe sex is popularized and STD statistics decrease. Conservatives oppose pornography along with some feminists – we see the beginnings of different kinds of feminism that are contradictory. More specifically, the “feminist sex wars” came into full form, where anti-pornography feminists and sex-positive feminists became – and remain – deeply divided in regards to the sexual revolution and what should or should not have been included. Feminists seem to agree that control over one’s sexuality is key, but those who are anti-pornography argue that it being a male-dominated industry and a way for men to access a woman’s body on their own terms and in ways that please them, pornography is unacceptable and objectifies women. This circles back to the debate surrounding feminist choice – and whether autonomy should be solely independent, or in consideration of society and all women. It is ongoing, and potentially impossible to reconcile due to the vast differences in privilege and lifestyle across womanhood. Third-wave feminism, which emerged in the early 1990s – does focus on sexuality as a means of female empowerment, but third wave feminists are not all necessarily united in celebrating all sexuality, including that which seems to be controlled by and dedicated to male pleasure. Post-feminism is the only way to really characterize the discrepancies, since it describes a wide range of opinions in reaction to feminism since the 1980s.

Show Summary

Sex and the City (“SATC”) is a television series produced by HBO, based on novel Sex and the City by Candace Bushnell – a compilation of Bushnell’s essays from her column in The New York Observer. The television show, created by Darren Star – is centered around character Carrie Bradshaw, who Bushnell has often referred to as her alter ego. On the show, Carrie writes a column called Sex and the City for fictitious newspaper The New York Star – and through this medium, Carrie – and the show – are enabled to tackle issues of sexuality and feminism under the guise of commentary on Carrie’s three best friends’ sex lives. In the show’s six-year run, they accumulated a cult-like following, were nominated for – and won – multiple awards, and are still credited with jump-starting HBO’s success today. Through all the acclaim and criticism of characters on SATC, one thing cannot be denied: Sex and the City revolutionized the way we talk about women’s sexuality, bringing to the forefront and normalizing it in a way that had never been done before.

Character Summaries

Carrie Bradshaw

Carrie Bradshaw, the show’s protagonist and narrator, spends the series writing for fictitious newspaper The New York Star about love and sex. The events of each episode are centered around her weekly column, and feature different relationship-based challenges faced by Carrie and her friends. Carrie – known for her unique fashion sense and shoe obsession – lives in and works from her studio apartment in a Lower East Side brownstone, and spends most of her spare time sipping cosmopolitans at the trendiest bars and catching up with her girlfriends over brunch. Her two most notable relationships are with Mr. Big (his real name is revealed in the series finale to be John James Preston), and furniture designer Aidan Shaw. Both are tumultuous, and on-again, off-again; Mr. Big can’t commit to Carrie, and Carrie can’t commit to anyone else. Ultimately, she ends up with Big, who finally vocalizes his feelings and devotes himself to Carrie.

Miranda Hobbes

Miranda is characterized in Sex and the City as Carrie’s best friend and closest confidante; Miranda is a cynical, career-minded lawyer who distrusts men and is content with using them for sex alone. Her sentiments are challenged throughout her on-again off-again relationship – and friendship - with bartender Steve. Their initial breakup is a reflection of Steve’s insecurity surrounding Miranda’s higher pay, and after he realizes his mistake and they rekindle the romance, Miranda ends things because she considers Steve to be too immature. As soon as they break up, Miranda makes partner at her law firm, but after a night of casual “pity” sex (Steve was diagnosed with testicular cancer and felt insecure), Miranda becomes pregnant and the two eventually fall back in love and marry.

Samantha Jones

Samantha is the oldest and most sexually adventurous character of the foursome; working as an independent PR representative, she is extremely confident, strong, and outspoken. The show follows Samantha’s numerous and brief sexual encounters, which she recounts to her friends as mealtime entertainment and food for Carrie’s column. Samantha takes a few stabs at monogamy throughout the course of the series, dating Latina artist Maria who she finds too emotional, hotel mogul Richard Wright who she falls in love with and who cheats on her, and finally, struggling actor Smith Jerrod, who she helps become famous. Jerrod is highly patient with Samantha and works through her commitment issues; he supports her through breast cancer treatments and the two move to Los Angeles where Samantha works as his agent. It is revealed in the Sex and the City movie sequel that Samantha ends things in Los Angeles; she finds herself stuck in a routine and famously tells Jerrod: “I love you, but I love me more,” the same breakup line she uses on Wright, when the thought of him cheating on her again hinders their rekindled romance and Samantha decides it’s healthiest for her to get out.

Charlotte York

Charlotte, an art gallery curator, is a foil to Samantha on the show in many ways – her traditional and privileged upbringing (Connecticut-raised, prom queen, class president, sorority girl) manifest in the way she views sex timidly and as a representation of emotional love and a product of monogamy. Despite her darker side, where Charlotte sometimes surprises the audience, her typical characterization on Sex and the City is centered around the search for a successful husband, and ultimately, family. Her first attempt is with Dr. Trey MacDougall, a cardiologist with old money and a Park Avenue apartment; despite falling in love at first sight, the pair are plagued initially by Trey’s impotence, and after a brief separation which does wonders for their sex life, by Charlotte’s infertility and her mother-in-law’s disapproval of adoption. After much trial, they divorce, and in her fight to keep Trey’s apartment, Charlotte falls for lawyer Harry Goldenblatt. Initially unattracted to him, Charlotte enters into a sexual relationship with Harry, but his persistence and her obvious happiness eventually culminate in her conversion to Judaism, marriage to him, and adoption of Lily, a baby girl from China.

Audience

Demographics

Approximately 60% of people who rated Sex and the City on IMDb are women, and their ratings put the show at 8.1/10; the average score for English-speaking television series’ with 1,000 or more ratings is 7.3, so this score is above average. However, when you factor in the other 40% of raters, men assigned the show a 5.8 average rating. The overall rating, therefore, is a 7.0/10 – below average. Analysis by Walt Hickey has found similar scenarios in cases with other ‘gendered’ television programs; when a television show is reaching one gender more commonly than the other, it is usually evident from split reviews resulting in an overall low rating, and above average scores by the main viewers’ gender. It is also important to note that Hickey found men are more likely to rate television shows than women – so with the split being 60/40 for women, this is already telling about the show’s reach and audience.

Examples of Sexual Freedom and Confidence/Positivity

Carrie Bradshaw

Her fickleness has sometimes gained Carrie – and subsequently, the show – some criticism for depicting Carrie as weak and sexually submissive (obsessed with Mr. Big, Carrie cheats on long term boyfriend Aidan Shaw continually, and weakly lies to her friends about it). She is shown to be fairly insecure in different relationships – forcing answers from Mr. Big about the future of their relationship, pressuring and trying to convince Aidan to have sex with her early in their relationship, and using casual sex to remedy feelings of sadness or unworthiness. Despite some of the intrinsically negative implications of infidelity and insecurity, some of these actions could take on opposite meanings. Carrie opposes the common notion that women care about emotional love, and men are lustful; she displays female desire in her pursuit of sex with Aidan, and the power of that desire in her infidelity. Carrie’s actions in her relationship with Big could also be considered empowered and confident, not insecure. Carrie knew what she wanted – and refused to settle for less. When he couldn’t tell her he loved her, Carrie broke it off; when she couldn’t tell others she loved them, she broke it off (perhaps not in the best way, but still). Carrie speaks up for casual sex, for masturbation, and for expressing her sexuality in the way she dresses (she nicknames a favourite date dress “the naked dress,” and wears it proudly).

Miranda Hobbes

Miranda asserts her independence and sexuality through confidence in life and in her career – and this could not be made clearer throughout her relationship with Steve, where the idea of Miranda making more than her male counterpart is addressed as a relationship hurdle, and ultimately, as something Steve accepts. Miranda is a woman who refuses to apologize for her success, or for her sexuality. In a popular Miranda scene, she educates a sexual partner on the popularity of fake orgasms, admitting to them in the past and showing him how he can elicit a real one. In most of her appearances, Miranda seems to counter the image of women as a mode of male pleasure, and flipping the switch, asserts her own dominance in bed and starts a dialogue for better communication about women’s pleasure and sexual awareness. Dating Steve, Miranda discovers she has chlamydia and counts 42 sexual partners – which allows the show to address the double standard surrounding men and women’s sexual promiscuity, and position themselves as feminist when Steve has no complaint or comment on Miranda’s “number”. And when Steve and Miranda break up and have a baby, the show handles the idea of a mother as sexual very well; Miranda continues a string of one-night stands and fights the idea that post-baby, a woman’s sex life deteriorates exponentially.

Samantha Jones

For Samantha, sex is on her terms and her terms alone – and her characterization is highly inspiring to watch. When executive Richard Wright won’t hire Samantha because she slept with one of his employees and he feels she – as a woman – would be emotional about it, Samantha tells him off and storms out, allowing herself to cry only once the elevator doors had shut. In this way, she introduces a way for viewers to talk about misogyny as it really appears in everyday life; she is unapologetic about her sexuality, and in the end, she gets the job. Samantha exudes body-positivity when she has nude portraits drawn up, and there is a scene in her plastic surgeon’s office where he circles ‘problem’ areas worthy of work, and Samantha looks in the mirror to find most of her body covered. Her horror, and her decision to storm out of the office is very telling; it sends the message that despite engaging in small changes to improve her image, Samantha believes wholly in being content with one’s body the way it is, and would not condone changing entirely for vanity. Samantha is also forward about female masturbation, and starts a dialogue of sexuality as a spectrum when she enters into a relationship with a woman and refuses to label herself as a lesbian.

Charlotte York

Charlotte, in a way, is the means by which Sex and the City educates women on the normalcy of sexual empowerment. Because she starts the series quite ignorant to the reach of her sexuality, and learns from her friends throughout, she parallels viewers who hopefully gain, like Charlotte, insight into their own sexuality. Two examples come to mind: first, her anatomy education, and second, her introduction to female masturbation. Over brunch, the other girls are shocked to discover that Charlotte has never looked down there. Samantha insists she take a hand mirror and learn about her anatomy, and in a humourous scene, Charlotte is so enamoured and curious, she leans forward to get a better look and falls flat on her face! Later, the four friends all buy the famous “Rabbit” vibrator, and Charlotte becomes so addicted to it, her friends actually have to intervene when they discover she lied about being busy to spend a night in with the Rabbit. Talk about an advertisement! Charlotte also promotes sexual freedom and empowerment through her work at the gallery. In a couple of scenes, Charlotte becomes involved with some of the artists and their work. When she visits the studio of artist Neville Morgan, who paints portraits of “the female cunt” – he convinces her to sit for one, then to be displayed at the gallery. Charlotte’s initial discomfort seems more strong for the word “cunt” even than for displaying hers. Barbara Creed, in her book “Media Matrix,” refers to this specific scene when she says: “The episode reminds us that the sexual revolution fell short when it came to changing public attitudes about saying the unsayable” (page 53). The sexual revolution fell short in many more ways, which is why even though Sex and the City covers such a broad range of topics surrounding female sexuality, many still seem new, to this day - and modern political campaigns continue to centre themselves around issues initially tackled in the sexual revolution in the 1960s. There is another artist for whom Charlotte poses – this time, as a drag king. He urges Charlotte to find her sexuality dressed as a man. There is a very memorable part where Charlotte asks for sock after sock, and fills a bulge in her pants; she looks in the mirror, finds her sexuality, and poses as a confident, sexy man! This scene was extremely forward in terms of sexual empowerment and gender fluidity!

Examples of Sexual Agency

Carrie Bradshaw

Carrie set limits in her sexual ventures and spoke up for herself when situations made her uncomfortable – when her boyfriend asks to pee on her during sex, when a date invites her to a boy-girl spin the bottle and she is expected to kiss a girl, and much more.

Samantha Jones

When Richard Wright cheats on Samantha and she decides to forgive him and rekindle the romance, she soon realizes she cannot shake her paranoia surrounding his infidelity and decides to end things. Some viewers criticize Samantha for her initial forgiveness, but others claim it depicts the empowerment that goes along with feminist choice. The same debate and arguments can be applied to the way in which Samantha values beauty – some would argue that Samantha falls victim to beauty standards, allowing sexual partners to dictate how she shaves her pubic area, and engaging in various anti-aging treatments. Others, however, see this as another facet of feminist choice.

Charlotte York

Charlotte, refusing to perform oral sex, is dumped by her seemingly perfect boyfriend, who decides oral sex is more important than engaging in a relationship with Charlotte. In another scene, Charlotte turns down sex on the first date – which she doesn’t believe in – and her date decides to return to the club to seek out sex. Charlotte holds fast to her values even when they result in mistreatment; she creates a sexual comfort zone and sets hard limits in bed. She allows herself to be as sexual as she’d like (and she definitely is sexual!), and as conservative as she’d like; through her confidence, Charlotte exerts her agency and though her ideology may be inconsistent, she remains consistently true to herself.

Impact

Creators of SATC refer to the show as a reflection of third-wave feminism, and this is definitely an ongoing debate – some refer to the show as anti-feminist altogether, and others, like Emily Nussbaum of the New Yorker take on more complex views (she divided the characters into different waves of feminism and analyzed each one’s individual intentions and values). The message of Sex and the City, though, crystallizes independent of any critique or debate, which really just become scholarly musings. What cannot be taken from the show’s legacy, according to Astrid Henry’s chapter “Sex and the City and Third Wave Feminism”, from the brilliant multi-contributor work Reading Sex and the City is that SATC “functions as a forum for women’s sexuality as it has been shaped by the feminist movement of the last 30 years” (page 66). Sex and the City is not necessarily a reflection of any particular alignment, but rather, the feminist dialogue and discussion itself; like this movement, it is imperfect, contradictory, but important, provocative, and artistically – timeless.