Peer Review

Hi, I enjoyed looking over your draft. I really like your choice of topic but watch out for some of those longer sentences because it makes it harder to process all of your information. It is hard to tell from your introduction what your narrow topic is so I suggest editing the over all structure so it's more chronological and previewing each topic you'll address in the introduction. I know this is just your draft copy but it's something to keep in mind when you're working on the final version! Also any visual aids will make it more engaging for the reader. Another thing I noticed was you mention the "intersectionality of gender being put on women" in your first/second paragraph. What exactly do you mean by that? Intersectionality is a framework that encompasses all the different ways in which forms of oppression can intersect. I would definitely suggest you clarify you use of the word and how it applies to objectification and violence on women.