Student Parent Experiences: Miscarriage, Time Management

Student Life vs. Private Life

At every university, the faculty and student bodies are made up of many differing and varying circumstances. For instance: there are students who are parents, students who suffer personal losses during their semester, students from different nations, mature students, and many more; whilst professors also fall into each of those categories. Although there is a common perception that faculty members and students engage in a separate life from the outside world, it can be assumed that every individual lives a unique life with varying degrees of responsibility, both in the 'outside' world and within the university setting. The University of British Columbia is no exception to this reality and, as an institution, has committed to providing resources to students who need it through Access and Diversity, where students are encouraged to reach out for additional help when needed and can be given the tools that are necessary to "thrive" within their environment . In addition, student parents must divide their time between working, household chores, school, parenting and personal time (when allotted),

Parenting and Access and Diversity

Access and Diversity offers many solutions for student parents, including:

• Childcare and School Registration
• How to look after your child
• Support on Campus
• Financial Support

Yet, some argue that the financial services offered to parents are inadequate. Although scholarship and bursary opportunities are offered to student parents, the application processes tend to be daunting and can often cause additional stress in the student's life. Beyond this, the student is often required to share personal familial information and, due to the nature of these financial aids, the competition can be grueling.

Childcare

In Vancouver, most daycare's offer services between the hours of 9-5. For student parents, these hours can sometimes cause angst and anxiety, as university classes can range from early in the morning until late at night. In these situations, when parent's are unable to find adequate childcare, then the student's academic success and at-home success can be compromised . In British Columbia, student parents are privileged to be offered the largest amount of financial support for childcare, when compared to any other province within the country -- $510 / week , and the students are eligible to receive up to $200/month for childcare subsidy. However, once money has been loaned to a student parent from the government, the student will be required to pay the money back at the end of their education, increasing their debt-load when compared to a student living without a dependent and adding stress to their lives. Beyond this, the fee goes directly to the child-care provider and discrepancies often arise as to if/when the facility receives the money and how much they receive. Because you are not granted the authority to control and allot this money, the anxiety can be preposterous. The price for childcare at the University is $1365.00 / month for an infant (under 2 years old) and above 2 years old, $1255.00/month (these prices have raised $10/month within the last year). Prices slowly decline as the child grows older and warrants less responsibility, but no rates appear for part-time care (meaning that parents must take a minimum of 3 courses per semester) and the prices are “pro-rata” (based on the principle that, as the dollar rises and falls, so too does this price) .

Financial Assistance

As the majority of student parents are young individuals with little-to-no work experience, it can be assumed that many of these students will require financial aid through their province's financial loan institutions.

Emotional Support

Student parents require additional emotional support and understanding form other students, from professors, and form the university as a whole. It important for these individuals to receive support, as they are depended on by their child/children, to ensure that their family maintains positive emotional and physical wellness. Often, student parent's are forced to stay home to take care of their child and can sometimes be called away from lectures or group work to tend to their child's needs. In many cases, students and professors who do not have children are unable to identify with student parents, causing them to feel isolated or misunderstood.

Compassionate Care Leave

UBC offers compassionate care leave to its faculty members, a service that allows for up to 8 weeks of leave for the purpose of supporting a family member who is seriously ill, yet no services like this are offered to students

Miscarriage

Often times in student-parent’s lives, unexpected events arise, causing disarray and difficulty, as in the case of student-parents who are sexually active, conceiving another baby or in the more unfortunate cases, have a miscarriage. A miscarriage occurs when a pregnant woman suffers the loss of her pregnancy before 20 weeks of gestation, for more information, go to Miscarriage. According to the Miscarriage Association, approximately 25% of pregnancies result in a miscarriage . Although some women find it easy to emotionally recover and move beyond the loss of a fetus, some women feel preoccupied with death and guilt, as the mother wonders what she did to contribute to her fetus’ fate, and grieves the loss of a child. In these delicate and disturbing instances, the woman is in dire need of support networks, including support from her professors, partner, friends, family and University as a whole. In fact, the sense of grief can cause the student to shut down emotionally and academically, drastically affecting her ability to attend classes and share ideas – in essence, women who experience miscarriages are predisposed to depression, anxiety or other psychological disorders such as PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) . As the process of a miscarriage is experienced by the mother, father’s grief is rarely discussed (keeping in mind that some women experience miscarriages without knowing that they are pregnant and/or without a partner for support). Data supports findings that male partners "feel left out and confused as if they were intruding” whilst most women depended on their support throughout the medical visits . Within this understanding, and considering that most health care supporters perceive miscarriages as female issues, they are left feeling many of the same feelings of grief, but little attention is given to recognizing this guilt. Without an understanding of the potential affects that a miscarriage can have, many women negate to support their partners and instead, solely depend on them for support. These actions can lead to confusion, anxiety and depression in men, as they experience the loss of a potential child too.