Social Exchange theory/Bargaining Theory (Rational Choice)

Exchange and bargaining perspectives argue that people exchange resources for what they want in a relationship. In terms of marriage, the spouse with more resources is better able to exchange or bargain for what they want when disagreements arise in the marriage. Sayer et al. argue that resources translate into "voice" in the marriage.

Exchange and bargaining theory falls under the broader theory of rational choice theory which argues that individuals act out of self-interest. In doing so, individuals weight costs and rewards and make choices that produce the greatest benefit. When examined from a family perspective, this theoretical perspective argues that people come together to maximize rewards. Membership in social groups necessitates compromise and even costs to individual members. If the costs of group membership exceed the rewards, then membership in the group is no longer a rational choice.

Sayer et al. argue that the exchange/bargaining perspective needs to be "gendered" to account for the fact that gendered ideas about the role of husband and wife may make it harder for wives to translate their resources into "voice" in heterosexual marriages. It may be harder for wives to get husbands to agree with them regarding a decision or to change their behaviour, for example, because of men's greater status and power in marriage (through the husband role) and in society in general. So women may instead use their resources to "exit" a heterosexual relationship.

Social exchange theory has also been used to theorize intimate partner violence (Lawson, 2012). This theory states that family violence occurs when the rewards of violent behaviour outweigh the risks. When there are a lack of social controls to block or prevent violent behaviour, such as family or legal sanctions, family members may engage in violence to achieve their ends. This perspective would consider the privacy norms of the family as making violence more likely since keeping things in the family means that family members are less likely to be publicly or legally sanctioned for violent acts. The glorification of violence, especially men's violence, may also increase the likelihood of violence by creating an incentive (or reward) for engaging in violence.